You

Half Term

Half term was better than I ever expected it to be!
1) Found a new love - tanning beds.....wowza. These things are insane!
2) Portugal for a night was a lovely chance to get away, just sat by the pool and thought things through really, it really helped
3) Spent a few days with my boyfriend, which for me, really brought us closer
4) Went to a party, didn't get drunk AT ALL, major improvement for me!
5) Was with my parents, I've missed them a lot !!

Plus....I've got tons of things to look forward too!! I think 2011 is going to be a good year even though it did get off to a rocky start

True Friends

Being in situations like I'm in makes you realize who your real friends are, the ones who will actually be there for you no matter what. I've always been told that someday you will find out who are real friends and those that will come and go.

These true friends mean the world to me.

I'm Lost.

And I don't know what to do

I crossed the line

I crossed it, so far that I cannot ever go back
I guess this post is the only way I can really portray my feelings

I've just gotta hang in there, hold my head up high, pretend i'm alright when actually i'm hurting. Breaking down inside I feel like complete and utter SHIT and there is nothing I can do about it. I made myself become like this

It didn't have to be like this

Sometimes in life you make the most horrible mistakes that you can never undo, they're not like words, you cannot bring them back, you didn't steal anything which you can return, but in life you just have to learn from wrong doing.
Life is too short to hold grudges... sometimes things happen for the better or to tell you something. I believe that everything happens for a reason - whether it be for the better or for the worse.

You've got to be honest, its better than keeping it in. You cannot go on with your life knowing that you've done something you shouldn't have. I need to become a better person, and with practise, I WILL.

About Me

Bold : The ones that apply to me

I am a boy.
I am a girl. 
I am shorter than 5’4.
I think I’m ugly.
I have many scars.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I’ve had braces.I wear glasses.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercing in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.

I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve run away from home.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday. 
I’ve lost a child.

I’m in school.
I have a job.
I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do/did my homework.
I’ve missed a week or more of school.
I’ve been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
I failed more than 1 class last year.
I’ve stolen something from my job.

I’ve slipped out an “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve peed from laughing.
I’ve snorted while laughing.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something. 
I’ve had my pants rip in public.

I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve gotten stitches/staples.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
I’ve had measles.

I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Mexico
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Europe.
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from Facebook. 
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.I’m single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
I am a cuddler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.

I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve sneaked out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test. 
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.

I’ve consumed alcohol.
I regularly drink.
I’ve passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I’ve smoked weed.
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
I’ve eaten shrooms.
I’ve popped E.
I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
I shut others out when I’m depressed.
I have taken anti-depressants.
I have been anorexic or bulimic.
I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
I’ve woken up crying.
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I’ve planned my own suicide.
I’ve attempted suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
I own something from Gap.
I own something I got from e-bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.

I can sing well. 
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
I don’t kill bugs.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I’m a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I have “x”s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I love Spam.
I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I’ve worn pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
I’m good at remembering names.
I’m good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.