It's over

FINALLY !!!!!

GCSES ARE NO MORE

I am so relieved to have got them all out of the way, no more revison, exam stress, worries, just relaxation and having a fucking good summer !!!

Tough is a word to describe my week

I've gone through utter shit recently. I thought I would have experienced it all but no one would ever understand what I'm going though.
First I was hit with my grandma's death which was bad enough. Then had trouble with family and I'm not giving detail but its destroyed us and no, life will never be the same again. It has got better, me I mean..not the situation, thats fucked up! But, I'm becoming stronger each day. It has really thrown me off revision though, I can't concentrate. I've had to run to my boyfriend's house to get away from it all, luckily I know he will always be there for me.

Each day something new comes out and I don't know when everything is going to stop but I know that it can't get worse.
I've gotta be a strong person and I really am. I'm holding my head up high even though I'm breaking inside. I know that life's a bitch but I can't throw everything away. Live each day to the full because you never know if it's your last.

Life is too short.

Who Says

I wouldn't wanna be anybody else.
You made me insecure
Told me I wasn’t good enough
But who are you to judge
When you’re a diamond in the rough
I’m sure you got some things
You’d like to change about yourself
But when it comes to me
I wouldn’t want to be anybody else

I’m no beauty queen
I’m just beautiful me

You’ve got every right
To a beautiful life
C'mon

Who says
Who says you’re not perfect
Who says you’re not worth it
Who says you’re the only one that’s hurting
Trust me
That’s the price of beauty
Who says you’re not pretty
Who says you’re not beautiful
Who says

It’s such a funny thing
How nothing’s funny when it’s you
You tell ‘em what you mean
But they keep whiting out the truth
It’s like a work of art
That never gets to see the light
Keep you beneath the stars
Won’t let you touch the sky

Life isn't esy

Some things you've just gotta work at to make them right, it may be tough, it may be hard, but if you really wanted something then you would put your heart and soul into them


'So what we get drunk so what we smoke weed we're just having fun we don't care who sees so what we go out that's how it's supposed to be living young and wild and free'

Trust No One

It is unbelievable how spiteful some people can be. How can you say you're a friend of mine, I don't know who, I don't know why but someone stabbed me right in the back. Hit me hard, where it hurts. The pain is unbearable. Why would someone do such a thing? Ruin a beautiful relationship I had with my boyfriend, now we're arguing non stop just because of one person I don't even know about. It makes me sick.  I think about how much pain one person has caused for me and my relationship, which was going so well.
I've run out of tears, I'm so tired of crying. This has disgust me. I can't express how dissapointed I am, the fact is I don't know who to trust anymore if my friends go behind my back. I don't even want to know who this person is.

Before I Die

Thing I have to do before I die....

1. Go skinny-dipping at midnight in the South of France.
2. Tell someone the story of my life, sparing no details.
3. Brew my own beer.
4. Buy a round-the-world air ticket and a rucksack, and run away.
5. Give my mother a dozen red roses and tell her that I love her.
6. Put my name down to be a passenger on the first tourist shuttle to the moon.
7. Eat jellied eels from a stall in London.
8. Fall deeply in love -- helplessly and unconditionally.
9. Stay out all night dancing and go to work the next day without having gone home.
10. Ride the Trans-Siberian Express across Asia.
11. Shower in a waterfall.
12. Drive across America from coast to coast.
13. Make a complete and utter fool of myself.
14. Sleep under the stars.
15. Go wild in Rio during Carnival.
16. Spend Christmas on the beach drinking pina coladas.
17. Lose more money than I can afford at roulette in Vegas.
18. Run a marathon.
19. Dive with sharks.
20. Explore Antartica.
21. Climb mount Kilimanjaro.
22. Donate a lot of money to charity.
23. Live with my family in Malaysia for at least one month.
24. Donate blood.
25. Visit the Titanic

You

Half Term

Half term was better than I ever expected it to be!
1) Found a new love - tanning beds.....wowza. These things are insane!
2) Portugal for a night was a lovely chance to get away, just sat by the pool and thought things through really, it really helped
3) Spent a few days with my boyfriend, which for me, really brought us closer
4) Went to a party, didn't get drunk AT ALL, major improvement for me!
5) Was with my parents, I've missed them a lot !!

Plus....I've got tons of things to look forward too!! I think 2011 is going to be a good year even though it did get off to a rocky start

True Friends

Being in situations like I'm in makes you realize who your real friends are, the ones who will actually be there for you no matter what. I've always been told that someday you will find out who are real friends and those that will come and go.

These true friends mean the world to me.

I'm Lost.

And I don't know what to do

I crossed the line

I crossed it, so far that I cannot ever go back
I guess this post is the only way I can really portray my feelings

I've just gotta hang in there, hold my head up high, pretend i'm alright when actually i'm hurting. Breaking down inside I feel like complete and utter SHIT and there is nothing I can do about it. I made myself become like this

It didn't have to be like this

Sometimes in life you make the most horrible mistakes that you can never undo, they're not like words, you cannot bring them back, you didn't steal anything which you can return, but in life you just have to learn from wrong doing.
Life is too short to hold grudges... sometimes things happen for the better or to tell you something. I believe that everything happens for a reason - whether it be for the better or for the worse.

You've got to be honest, its better than keeping it in. You cannot go on with your life knowing that you've done something you shouldn't have. I need to become a better person, and with practise, I WILL.

About Me

Bold : The ones that apply to me

I am a boy.
I am a girl. 
I am shorter than 5’4.
I think I’m ugly.
I have many scars.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I’ve had braces.I wear glasses.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercing in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.

I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve run away from home.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday. 
I’ve lost a child.

I’m in school.
I have a job.
I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.
I almost always do/did my homework.
I’ve missed a week or more of school.
I’ve been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
I failed more than 1 class last year.
I’ve stolen something from my job.

I’ve slipped out an “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve peed from laughing.
I’ve snorted while laughing.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something. 
I’ve had my pants rip in public.

I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve gotten stitches/staples.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.
I’ve had measles.

I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Mexico
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Europe.
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from Facebook. 
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.I’m single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
I am a cuddler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.

I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve sneaked out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test. 
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.

I’ve consumed alcohol.
I regularly drink.
I’ve passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I’ve smoked weed.
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
I’ve eaten shrooms.
I’ve popped E.
I’ve inhaled Nitrous.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I’m not sick.
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
I shut others out when I’m depressed.
I have taken anti-depressants.
I have been anorexic or bulimic.
I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
I’ve woken up crying.
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I’ve planned my own suicide.
I’ve attempted suicide.
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an iPod or MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.
I own something from Gap.
I own something I got from e-bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.

I can sing well. 
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news.
I don’t kill bugs.
I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
I curse regularly.
I sing in the shower.
I am a morning person.
I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
I’m a snob about grammar.
I am a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I have “x”s in my screen name.
I love being neat.
I love Spam.
I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
I’ve worn pajamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I know how to shoot a gun.
I am in love with love.
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I believe in ghosts.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
I am really ticklish.
I love white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I play video games.
I’m good at remembering names.
I’m good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

A New Start

Fresh is the word I would like to use - FRESH

How clean and simple is the word !!!!
I've decided to start new, work hard, eat well, try and be a better person overall

the end.

Long Distance

There's only so many songs
That I can sing to pass the time
And I'm running out of things to do
To get you off my mind
Ooohh,no

All i have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face every day

With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard,you're so far
This long distance is killing me

It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me
It's so hard,it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far,this long distance is killing me

http://www.elyricsworld.com/long_distance_lyrics_bruno_mars.html
Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days
While I'm away
You know right now I can't be home
But I'm coming home soon,coming home soon

All i have is this picture in a frame

Why now.

Why is it when something is going so great a certain person comes back into your life and interfears...

Why did I have to see you today?
Why did the memories come flooding back?
Why can't you just be gone out of my life?
Why can't I just forget you?
Why do you have to send me messages that just make everything worse?
Why do I miss you?

People around me going on about their 'perfect' day with a guy really doesn't help. They recite mine, over and over again.
Each relationship is going to just be compared to ours. It was beautiful. I felt like I was in a movie.

I want to forget you but I never want you to forget me.

Mean Girls Facts

• 1. Initially, Lindsay Lohan was cast as Regina, but decided to play the “nice girl” so the public wouldn’t base her real personality on Regina’s.

• 2. Amanda Seyfried was initially supposed to play Cady, Lindsay Lohan’s part.

• 3. Tim Meadows broke his hand before shooting and had to wear a cast, so the explanation that his character Mr. Duvall had carpal tunnel was added.

• 4. In the scene where Cady was asked if her “muffin was buttered”, the line was originally going to be, “Is your cherry popped?” The same goes for the girl who “made out with a hot dog” this was going to be “masturbated with a hot dog”. These were omitted in order for the film to gain a PG 13+ rating instead of a R.

• 5. Ashley Tisdale auditioned for Karen Smith.

• 6. Lindsay Lohan’s character is named “Cady”, which has a common pronunciation (“Katie”) but an uncommon spelling for an American girl’s first name. In keeping with the film’s theme of female empowerment, it is the same spelling of the birth last name of Elizabeth Cady Stanton, an 18th-century pioneer in the American Women’s Rights movement.

• 7. In real life, Rachel McAdams is 8 years older than Lindsay Lohan, who plays her classmate, and only 7 years younger than Amy Poehler, who plays her mother.

• 8. When casting the film, Tina Fey picked Jonathan Bennett (Aaron Samuels) because he looked like Jimmy Fallon.

• 9. Mean Girls is based on the book “Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence” by Rosalind Wiseman, even though it is a non-fiction parental self-help guide with no narrative at all.

• 10. Rachel McAdams’ hair was a wig.

• 11. The skirts for the Christmas talent show were made of plastic; the costume designer says they were made of that fabric to “represent the Plastics”.

• 12. David Reale, a Canadian actor born 1984, was the man who played Glen Coco. Sadly, this crucial role was not credited in the movie.

Animal Testing

My Birthday

Oh how great it feels to be 16 !!!!!!!!!
I came home friday night and rushed out to Westfield to pick out my birthday present


its not actually this colour but this style!!

 Then my family and I went for dinner which was lovely. Saturday morning I woke up at about 9:30 and come downstairs to find no one!!!!!!!!!!! So I ran to my parents room and got into their bed then we went into the kitchen and opened my presents and ate pancakes - yum!!

In the afternoon I got my hair done and got ready for my party. I was pretty nervous and only getting to my parents apartment about an hour before it was starting really did push it for time. People starting arriving at about 8...

All in all it was a good, interesting night but lovely to spend my birthday with my favourite people in the world!!!!

el oh el

Emma Watson was in her college chemistry class. She answered a question correctly and someone shouted from the back of the classroom, “TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!”

Save the Sharks!

Sunday night brought me to tears!! Momma and I watched a show about shark finning. Ever since I was born, sharks have been my all time favorite animal. 480 species of sharks, how can you not love them! I know people are like blah blah they kill people but HANG ON so do dogs, horses, lions etc etc.....

So this program was AWFUL!!!!!!!!!!!! 70,000,000 sharks are killed each year for their fins and their carcases are just thrown back into the sea. It was their home yet now it is their grave. The worst bit is that sometimes their fins are cut off whilst they are still alive!!! HOW HORRIBLE!

I've become so upset by this and I wrote an email to Shark Trust saying how I want to help and do anything I can. Momma and I joined Sharks Trust and donated money, I feel my money will go to such a deserving place.

This video communicates the urgency of this situation far better than any words can.


on

Monsters Inc 2 !

So far away but I am already excited!!!!

I'm back!

Literally, I have been so so so happy at the moment, and I really don't want to curse it by posting this but I would just like to say how if you wait long enough happiness is just around the corner!

I've got a lot to look forward too. Plus end of mocks on friday! Massive weight off my shoulders, then Disney Land on the 22nd and my Birthday/Party on the 29th !!! wooooo looking forward to a good month !

Hold up, Nancy!

Please Please check out the band 'Hold up, Nancy'   they are so talented and lovely people!!!
Two of their singles on on itunes - start buying...cumonn only 79p

here is their myspace.........http://www.myspace.com/holdupnancy

I think...

I Like Someone.

Christmas and New Years

I had a GREAT Christmas, I think it was definitely one of the best. My grandma was over and she was a bit annoying because she kept wanting to watch indian music channels but obviously I didn't !! But it was lovely. I got the loveliest presents and the food was so yum...
Boxing day our closest family friends came over and it was pretty much like Chistmas number 2. Then Christmas number 3 happened the day after with my cousins.

I then went to see Billy Elliot at Victoria Palace Theatre, it was magical !!! SOSOSOSOSOSO GOOD!

I spent New Years eve with my best friend in the whole wide world. It was an eventful night to say the least. Started getting ready at Kates then Pre Lash at Emilys then off to Sams party. Muad ting. Firstly we had about an hour walk to his house and at which point everyone was drunk already. I don't really remember much except from getting up on the tables and dancing and OH MY GOD I got in a fight with this girl. It was the scariest thing ever, I was shaking. Literally I thought she was going to punch me. This morning though I feel like death, I just forget last night ever happened.

New Years Resolutions

1) Concentrate more on work than boys

2) Stop getting pissed out of my head

3) Have less 'morning after regrets'

4) Stop biting my nails

5) Always think before I do something/ say something

6) When I am drunk, stop being over every male in the room